Challenges

For the last few years my life has become more and more boxed in. And one of the challenges has been finding time to practise the viola.

(I know maybe this should go in the other blog. However I am still talking about the viola here.)

People on the outside think that I am strong. This is not true. I am resilient with a dash of optimism and a bit of stupidity thrown in the mixture. They see a mom with three kids all in various places on the autism spectrum and think how does she cope. And the answer is I don't. Except on a very small scale. Planning my life in fifteen-minutes increments. When the oldest boy has a screaming fit for the ninth time in the day and the youngest starts banging his head against the floor when I turn around to attend to another child, sometimes the best way for me to cope is to think that in fifteen minutes maybe things will be better. That's the optimist in me...and the fool.

Also you can do a lot in fifteen minutes. Like chores and practising the viola. I do practise about an hour a day. However I break it up into smaller pieces. Scales and studies for the first part, and pieces during the other parts. This works for me because it forces me not to get too emotionally attached to the music. If I have this constraint, I have to still learn the part and do it the most efficient way as well. (Was it Stravinsky that talked about creativity within limits? Not sure...)

Just get the job done.

This is the way I've been practising for the last seven years. And I have had success with playing the viola.

But now more demands are made from me from the outside. Autism professionals will be around all the time. It is difficult for me since I'm a private person. Sometimes I feel like my home is not really mine after all. And time will become more regimented with my youngest son starting full time DTL therapy in a few weeks. Every minute will be scheduled for the next nine months. Practising will have to be scheduled even more efficiently. However I will work with this challenge since I'm an old pro. There has been challenges like this for the last five years. And I've practised for that as well.